Hit-Bound Ranked (Week of 3/29/19)

Its been a couple months since I've done a post about Hits 1. Figured it was time to go back to my roots.

0 - Awful

15. Billie Eilish - bury a friend

I'm not gonna spend too long on this one since I've got a big post about Billie coming up next week. But to summarize my thoughts, this song isn't the type of song I enjoy hearing from Billie. One of my favorites from her is kinda the predecessor to this song, bellyache. So what makes bellyache better? Honestly, it feel much more real than this. Her earlier work felt genuine, where as now it seems she's trying to be super emo and it just doesn't work. More on this next week.

1 - Bad

14. Panic! At The Disco - Dancing's Not A Crime

I didn't like Pray For The Wicked. There's some solid cuts, but overall the album is an over produced mess. This song epitomizes every problem with the album. Brendon Urie does have a good range, and he reeeeeeally wants to show it, so he jumps all over the place with his vocals. It doesn't sound good. The production just kinda sucks. And also, the lyrics don't really make much sense at parts. The main refrain is "Dancing is not a crime, 'less you do it without me" which sure, whatever. But the part that doesn't make sense is the end of the chorus where Brendon sings "Dancing is not a crime, unless you do it, do it do it, do it do it". That seems like a pretty simple oversight that easily could've been fixed. Whatever, I'm sure this will be big on Hits 1 anyways.

13. Ally Brooke - Low Key

I have nothing interesting to say about this song. It's a super dull version of Havana. Instead of having an upbeat latin vibe theres a downbeat whatever the fuck this is vibe. Say what you will about Camila Cabello as a singer, but she at least has personality. Ally doesn't. Not that Hits 1 cares, but Young Thug is much more talented than Tyga. I doubt this will get big anytime soon, and I'm honestly fine with that.

12. Ava Max - So Am I

How did I end up talking about THIS of all songs two weeks in a row. What I said last week still stands: this is literally Sweet But Psycho again. Same beat, she sings in the same key, more generic lyrics. NEXT!

2 - Mediocre

11. Kygo/Some random singer he found in a bar - Think About You

I really want to like Kygo. It Ain't Me is a legitimately amazing and perfect song, and he often collaborates with interesting artists. You don't often see Imagine Dragons on producer driven tracks. But god damn he keeps making really bland and generic music. I cannot tell anything he's released since It Ain't Me apart. They all feature singers without much personality and very similar beats. I don't really know how to describe this, but all of his recent songs are very "predictable". So yeah, I hope this doesn't get big. 

10. lovelytheband - maybe, i'm afraid

......is this really still here?

9. Avril Lavigne/Nicki Minaj - Dumb Blonde

I'm a bit conflicted on this song. I find Avril's verses and pre-chorus to be pretty solid. She's staying in a range that sounds really good for her over a great beat. But then the chorus hits and yeesh. She goes way out of her good vocal range and is basically just yelling. Her vocals in the chorus are grating, the production in the chorus is grating, the lyrics in the chorus are grating, the chorus was just SO GRATING!!!

Also Nicki's verse is bad.

3 - Decent

8. Ciara - Thinkin Bout You

I would almost put money on the fact that this is gonna grow on me. I've only heard it a couple times and I can't really find anything wrong with it. The beat is a little too sparse for my liking, but Ciara sounds really great. However, the song just doesn't completely click with me yet. But give it time, I'm sure this will be in my good tier soon enough.

7. Bebe Rexha - Last Hurrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaa

This was a big shrinker. Kinda like all of Bebe's songs. It kinda just feels like she's remaking I'm A Mess, but with more vocal talent. She does sound pretty good in the verses, but the chorus is pretty bad. The lyrics don't really do much for me. Overall, I don't hate this like I do a lot of her other stuff, but its also not something I'm gonna remember exists in a couple months.

4 - Good

6. Ariana Grande - break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored

Hey look! Ariana finally figured out to fix trap and pop without it sounding really bad! The beat here is really tight and works well. Ariana sounds pretty solid as well. Even the lyrics aren't *that* awful. So why isn't this in the great tier? Uhhh....its a bit boring? I don't know, this just isn't a song I return to very often. I think heavy radio play will only negatively affect this song, so let's hope it doesn't get too big on radio (hahaha....I can hope right?).

5. Lizzo - Juice

This is fun. Overrated but fun. Lizzo isn't a great singer but she's got loads of personality. The hook here is ok, but it is a bit grating. Where the song shines is in the verses, where Lizzo has some legitimately funny punchlines like "Somebody come get this man, I think he got lost in my DMs". There are *certain people* who don't like this and prefer white bread rappers like NF, and I get why someone could hate this, but yeah I find this pretty fun. 

5 - Great

4. NOTD/Felix Jaehn/Captain Cuts/Georgia Ku - So Close

Well whaddya know. The guys who made I Wanna Know somehow got themselves into my great tier. I'm still not willing to forgive them for that song, so I'm just gonna give the credit for this song being to Felix Jaehn and Georgia Ku instead, sound good? Anyways, the production here is pretty solid. I mean like its generic as fuck, but I also kinda like it? Georgia Ku is also just a really damn good singer. I did not like this song when I first heard it, so it might fade on me again soon, but for now I like it.

3. Queen of Payola - Undrunk

Uggghhhh why are two of my top 4 generic pop??? I made a whole god damn post about boring generic pop last week but here we are. I had no idea who Fletcher was before this song started gaining massively on pop, which is why I was really confused about it at first. But apparently she struck some deal with iHeartRadio so good for her. She's a pretty good signer, and the beat here works well for the song. The lyrics can get a little carried away with the "un-blank" thing ("un-lose my temper") but it works, and the pre-chorus is just really god damn great. So yeah, solid song.

2. Louis Tomlinson - Two of Us

Gonna keep this one brief because now isn't exactly a good time to be reviewing Louis's music after what happened to him. Great song, not as good as Miss You or Back To You, should've charted.

1. Marshmello/Lauren Mayberry - Here With Me

So yeah this is basically Happier 2.0. But enough stuff is changed/added/improved that it still feels new. The production is very similar, but hey its Marshmello what do you expect? However, the real selling point of this song are the vocals. Lauren Mayberry sounds great here. She's got a solid voice, as seen in most of CHVRCHES's music, and she certainly uses it here. While I don't normally love vocal riffs, she makes them work here. The drop is catchy and the lyrics are fine. So yeah, overall this is a great song.

Final Score:

4 Great Songs (4x5) = 20

2 Good Songs (2x4) = 8

2 Decent Songs (2x3) = 6

3 Mediocre Songs (3x2) = 6

3 Bad Songs (3x1) = 3

1 Awful Song (1x0) = 0

Total: 43/75 = 57%